Every so often, as spiritual beings having a human experience, we are offered yet another opportunity to confront our uncomfortable truths. You know, the ones we spend a whole lot of time pushing away. There has been huge energetic potential in the last few months to deal with the ‘stuff’ which may be familiar to you. For me this has been around the theme of feeling as though ‘I am enough, as I am.” I know many others who can identify. One of the reasons I began this website, Spiritual Seekers Guide to Queenstown & Surrounds was because I have always been a Seeker of who I truly AM. This meant that for year I sought outside of myself for the answers. I began therapy at a young age and yearned to be told what to do about my inner disturbances. Annoyingly the people I sat in front of remained passive and reflective. It’s only now in my 30s that I am beginning to understand some of the wisdom that came from those encounters. I spent many moons seeing various healers, clairvoyants, card readers and all the rest, again searching for some peace. Settling back into my hometown where I was born, here in Queenstown I delved deeper into the spiritual community, coming away from the ‘party scene’ (which served as a fantastic distraction) and finding that I enjoyed the company of others on the ‘path.’
As a writer I felt the community was missing a platform where I could share my own experiences so that others may resonate with my particular road on the journey but I also wanted a space where someone who had just landed in Queenstown could go and find all the services, yoga studios and various events where they might find like-minded people and their innermost selves. A year into this journey of Spiritual Seekers I feel that something about all this ‘Seeking’ just doesn’t sit right. Don’t get me wrong, I am passionate about this platform and I believe that it serves an important function in the community. But while I delve deeper into the acceptance I am looking for around being enough just as I am, I am finding that my original vision needs a little tweaking. Looking around at the ‘market’ of spirituality today it is dismaying to see and feel the familiar background message that already abounds throughout our somewhat warped society. Do this and you will be your best self! Have this product and you will be more flexible, conscious, strong and balanced. Do we really need to be told once more that we aren’t Ok just as we are? But be careful. Not all spiritually minded services or opportunities tote the ceaseless message of not being enough. I see the subtle differences in what I am now drawn to. Yes, empowerment might mean a better you, but if there is also an opportunity to embrace the you that you are right now in this moment, then I can see the beauty and the value in that. I pay attention to those who have walked the walk and can talk the talk, who offer an insight through their own perceived failings (or are they successes?) or limitations as a being. I am interested in spaces where we come together to learn from one another and of one another. Where we can see ourselves reflected in another. Some truths that have risen to the surface of my consciousness of late are of an understanding that for me, at least, a lot of what I run from is Intimacy. Intimacy with others, my children, my partner but most of all I run from intimacy with myself. Seeking outside of myself is another way to distance from my inner most self. It feels so good to finally be honest about that! I am now at a stage where I am ready to look at why I run from intimacy. I have a few clues thanks to the last decade of seeking. So, there is the value in that. Spiritual Seekers Guide to Queenstown & Surrounds is about coming together as a community, to honour the path we are each on. Yes, there are so many wonderful people here in Queenstown offering us all an opportunity to look at ourselves a bit deeper. Everyone is at different stages of acceptance on this journey. I see the value in seeking but I also now know the value in coming back around to myself. The power has been within me all along!
It reminds me of a scene in Willow, the epic George Lucas film set in New Zealand. The village medicine man/wizard asks his would be apprentices to chose which finger on his own hand holds the power to the Universe. Each apprentice takes his time choosing one of the wizards’ fingers. They all get it wrong. He reveals to Willow later that he should have chosen his own finger. The key to the Universe resides within. There is power in the ‘other’ where there is recognition and relatable attributes. Look for the experiences and services which empower that which you already are, where we come together to pool our gathered resources and knowledge – not learning anything new but remembering some long-forgotten truth buried deep within our bones. There is continual truth in remembering. We have come a long way off course while being immersed in a consumer driven society, where distraction is king. After all, I imagine it would be quite hard to market to a society of enlightened beings. Some of the opportunities out there are about getting some space to come back to that ancient wisdom, like an Aha! moment of the information feeling right and true. Believing you are enough as you already are is a big one. I can accept that for me its going to take time to sink in. I am grateful that this insight is swimming up to the surface of my consciousness at this time and I am honored that I am able to share this with you, dear Seeker. To conclude, I leave you with one of my favourite Rumi quotes – “That which you are seeking, is seeking you.” Enjoy the ride!